Nothing to be depressed about

Sitting around in my 2200 square foot house watching the news all the time feeling sadder and sadder about the growing gloom of war and all of the horror it can bring to all of us. I find myself slipping away into the pit of gloom and despair. I call a friend and get the answering machine which helps keep us all separate from the outside world. I remember someone who is a friend telling me what do I have to be depressed about.

I sit and flip through the stations, which takes approximately 20 minutes to go through, all repeats nothing is worth watching as usual. I turn back to the news to see if we are at war yet and all I hear is the rich are getting richer and there is no chance for me to crawl out of my pit of debt. Yet there isn’t any reason to be depressed.

I would go to a bar and try to be social but the bank is really thin, I cant even afford a trip to the woods for a camping trip I surely can not go on a camping trip, I make some more calls just to find a friend that will talk to me just anyone that is there sitting watching the same crap that I am watching just to have a conversation with someone to help me keep from growing any more numb to the world outside.

As I go outside and sit on my dock I look around and see all the world around, it is quite and peaceful and I realize that even though the phone does not ring and I rarely talk to a friend, I still have nothing to be depressed about.

I had a friend lecture to me that I don’t know what it is to be broke and to do with out, I thought how can I be told this I have done with out I have struggled for everything that I have, I have always tried to do better and to have nice things just to loose everything I own. But then it dawned on me that this person was just making another gesture about how Americans are born with a silver spoon in the mouth. Stupid Americans I am sick of it all, yet I have nothing to be depressed about.

I have money budgeted well for the next six weeks to go. I have it all coming tome and it all going back away. I add the bills up and I add the paychecks up and they are enough to pay the bills but then what do I eat. I have gotten my self in a whole I can only wish to be out of. I go to work today what will be there but the hum of the computer fans. I have no communication with anyone either, just sitting and working with computers all day long. It is a good thing since sitting around has made me hard, sitting and doing what I can afford, which is getting on line and playing a game a game if killing and blowing things up. What a game. This is a place where I can communicate with someone; there are people that will talk to me. The words are not quite what I have been searching for but any word at this point in time will do.

God please save us all and watch over the ones who need it most the ones that are the pawns in the game of some sick fucks life, I have too many to name at this time there are a bunch of sick fucks in this world, they know how to get there names remembered forever and forever there names live on. I have a name that I can only hope died a lonely and dreadful death They called him Hitler and he will be remembered for what he did and I know our nation is scared of history that is why we watch and learn history so we can look out for the sick fucks in this world but remember this "you have nothing to be depressed about" if your reading this.

The mouse in the corner